Bright Blue Eyes
by KBRC
Summary: A bit of angsty fluff for the summer. Castle and Beckett have a fight... more of a one sided conversation really. ONE SHOT. Teeny tiny spoiler for the season 4 finale. T for language.


**Authors Note: Fluff/ Angst. Inspiration struck and i just had to write this. I'm not quite sure its context, but it's after the season 4 finale (tiny spoilers) somewhere in season 5. Surprise at the end!**

**Disclaimer: I only wish I owned Castle, but I really don't think i could do a better job than AM at this point, so I'll leave it to the masters.  
**

* * *

She could see the pain. It was all over his face, in the slight dip of his head, the crease in his forehead. But his eyes were worse. The familiar light in the bright blue orbs had fled, replaced by a darkness that swallowed them whole. The very same darkness that nearly swallowed her whole everyday, the one that he always shone through. That light had filled the whole in her head, the space in her bed, the silence in between her thoughts and her voice. She couldn't understand what she had done to make it disappear.

"What do you want me to say?" Beckett forced herself to speak, to say the first of many questions racing through her mind.

He just shook his head, any hope she had fading away. She kept searching his eyes for something, anything that she could grab onto to understand, but there was nothing there. No light. Every fight they'd ever had, even before they were together, there was always something there. Even if she had hurt him more than he thought he could bear, it was there. But in his stare there was only a harsh emptiness.

"Tell me what you want me to say."

He dropped his eyes, tired of the staring contest, and grabbed his bag from her floor.

"Castle!" Beckett's voice came out far more like a plea than she had intended, all the desperation and need coming out in her voice. She'd do anything to make him stay. But he ignored her, stepping out of the door and vanishing with a quiet click of the latch. She just stood there, not quite sure what had just happened, and then slid to the floor with a sob. The tears raced down her cheeks and her shoulders shook. Her eyes traced the marks on her ceiling, wanting some sign, some indication of what the fuck she was supposed to do. What had she even done? It didn't really matter; she needed to make it right.

She jumped up, nearly ripping the door off its hinges as she raced outside. She kept running, skipping the elevator wait in favor of a sprint down the stairs and onto the street. He'd become her everything, her all. She would give up anything to make him stay. Which was why she was on the street in her yoga pants and t-shirt in the middle of Manhattan rush hour.

"Castle!" She called into the crowd, her voice raw in the aftermath of tears. She didn't process the stares of a thousand ugly faces at her shriek, just kept calling his name. They probably thought she was a lunatic. No shoes, screaming some guys name in the street. Definitely crazy.

She flagged down a cab and rattled off Castle's address. Nearly praying that that's where he'd gone.

* * *

Castle was slumped on his couch when the doorbell rang. He wouldn't have gotten up, except that the ringing and pounding was grating on his already frayed nerves. So he stood, and begrudgingly opened the door. Suddenly he was flashing back to a similar situation nearly a year ago, when he thought he was done with Beckett, with the precinct, with all of it. But she came to his door, soaking wet and told him she wanted him. And now a year later here she was again, her face stained with tears and her feet bare.

"What?"

"Castle… I… what did I do?"

"Kate… I can't-"

"NO. You don't get to try to sound all sad when you just stormed out of my apartment with all your stuff without even a word. You said you were in this. You know me, I'm not perfect, I make a horrible girlfriend but you wanted me anyway. You're supposed to love me, remember? You can't expect me to change; you can't choose what stays and what goes away when you commit to someone. That's not how relationships work, at least not this one. You don't get to back away from a fight. You wanted me to be sorry, you want a revelation? Well you got it. I screamed your name to the fucking street, and you were already gone. What the hell did I do to deserve that? So tell me what you want me to say."

"Kate, I didn't want any of that. You can't expect me to stand here while you keep putting your life on the line like it's a couple bucks at a poker table. I tell you I love you, and you back off for a while. You come to me and leave most of the danger behind. But you always go back. I don't know how you expect me to live with you, to love you, when I'm always worried that the next call I get is going to be some hospital saying you've been shot, or that the next body to drop is yours."

"Rick, you know that-"

"Its your job, its who you are. I know I've heard it before," Castle began to withdraw, "you claim I want a revelation, but you're the one who does. You want a revelation; you want to make it right? Well that's a conversation I just can't have tonight. Not after all of this."

"So you're just gonna walk away? You don't get to walk away. Not from this. Not from us. You pulled me in, made yourself a part of me, and now I can't live without you. Do you hear me? You're more than my partner, or my boyfriend, or my best friend. You're my head, and you're my heart. So you can't walk away."

"I didn't realize…" But before he had a chance to finish, her lips were on his. Hard and hungry, desperate to make him see how much he meant to her.

"It's not your fault," She whispered between kisses, "I should have told you how much you mean to me."

He pulled back, giving her a smile that made up for all of it, the light back in his bright blue eyes. His lips were back on hers in a second, devouring her mouth in a hot insistent kiss. His tongue begged entrance to her mouth and she gave it. Their tongues did battle for a while, until he pulled back again. He fixed his eyes on hers.

"What?"

"Marry me Kate." It wasn't a question, nor a command, more of a statement really. Affirming a reality.

* * *

**Hoped you liked it! If you can guess what song I based it off of (i thought it was really really obvious) you can give me a suggestion for another song based fic :) and reviews are like better than cake + ice cream so i would love you if you dropped one on your way out xD**


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